The People That Shape Us

Looking back at my life I can pinpoint a handful of time periods where I grew in ways I never imagined possible.  Nearly all of those times have a common thread: a woman (usually but not exclusively) that I looked up to and respected decided to put effort and time into mentoring me.  Some of those mentors were people I met through school, work, and friends.  Some of them are people I happened across on the Internet and started to interact with there.  Some saw something in me to spark the mentoring relationship; others are people I sought out to teach me things.  All of them made me feel worth their time and effort.  All of them made me believe that I have a voice worth listening to.  All of them encouraged me to reach for my dreams and gave me a gentle push (or enthusiastic shove) into being the person I am today.

 I think many people do themselves a disservice when they let go of the mentoring dynamic as they get older.  People get set in their ways, set in their paths, and sometimes get so caught up in their day to day that they forget there is a world of possibility out there if we are willing to challenge ourselves and learn.  It is hard to put yourself out there and ask questions, there is a vulnerability in admitting that you don’t know the next step to take and need help.  It’s scary to risk being shutdown or even worse, ignored.  I get it.  But maybe there is something to the idea that if it makes you uncomfortable you should try it?  Because if you are looking for results that you’ve never had, you need to do things you have never done.

 There is no doubt we are shaped by our negative experiences AND our positive ones.  Sometimes we feel helpless to affect both.  But the truth is, just as you can be proactive to avoid some negativity in life, it is certainly in your power to attract positivity as well.  The first step is to decide you want it.  The next is to decide you are worth it.  If you can take both of these steps, the next one, actually putting yourself out there, becomes much easier.  People with things to teach LOVE people who are interested in learning: all you need to do is start by asking questions.

 Have you had any mentoring or coaching experiences as an adult?  I would love to hear about them!  Please feel free to comment and share!


  • Melissa Frost

    September 16, 2013

    Gosh, I must be an emotional baby today b/c a couple of your blog entries have had me all teary-eyed! Reading “The next is to decide you are worth it” was one of those times. That is SOO hard!!! Just when I think I’ve gotten there, I fall back a few steps and never actually try again… 🙁

    • Amber

      September 16, 2013

      Thank you so much for reading it all Melissa! I’m so happy that some of what I’m saying is resonating with you. I know it is hard to believe you are worth the happiness you crave. Believe me, I know. But you are. It doesn’t matter that you fall or how many times it has happened, it matters that you get back up and try again. Instead of feeling like a failure for the times that didn’t work be proud of yourself for wanting better!