Self Care

I feel like I haven’t written here forever.  I’m finding it difficult to manage my time these days and this project seems to be the first thing to go even though I think about it often and truly believe that writing is going to be a key part of this journey for me.  The ability to take my experiences, throw them out into the world and have people read and respond and relate and support me, all while sharing their own stories is absolutely amazing.  What a gift and what motivation!  Thank you for reading.

This past weekend my husband and I met some friends in a nearby pasteur for a music festival.  Our group had seven but I read that they were expecting to host 65,000 people over the four days.  WHAT A PARTY!  The first day I felt like I was in my 20s again, but by day three I was feeling exactly my age, maybe more.  Still, it was a great time when I could get out of my own head for long enough to enjoy myself (more on that later), and it was exactly what I needed.  To be honest I’ve been struggling lately, not  really with the weight loss stuff but with LIFE stuff; MOM stuff, WIFE stuff, DAUGHTER stuff, FRIEND stuff, and well, you get the picture.  And the reason I’ve been struggling so much?  I think because I’m spending so much time trying to fit into the above roles that I forget to just be Amber every now and then.  The Amber that loves music and loves to dance her ass off and loves hoodies and EDM and rock and roll and joking around with real live adult people every now and then.  She’s fun; I miss her sometimes and I’m going to make sure I see her more.  Easier said than done but I think a night or a weekend like that twice a year will do wonders for my soul, not to mention my relationships.  I missed my kids so much but I came home to them with new patience and energy.
That said, I came to the realization this weekend that maybe the reason my life is so freaking chaotic most days is because I need more structure.  I’m a naturally easy going person.  This means I have a penchant for laziness if I’m not careful.  I know that I will never be a type A personality, but I can’t help but think that there must be an easier way.  I manage to schedule phone dates with friends and relatives in order to nurture those relationships, I need to start looking at other facets of my life in the same way. I think about making time to do this or that in my day but surely if I actually booked time to accomplish things that are important to me I will be to do more.  I’m a mother of two small children, one of whom is completely dependent on me for at least another few months, so I know I will need to be flexible.  But needing to be flexible and just winging everything are two very different things and the latter is just not working for me, at all right now.
So the title of the post is Self Care but I’m not talking about mani-pedis and massages (although I could use them all too).  I’m talking about learning new ways to take care of myself and my needs.  I need to find balance between my family life and my goals and I really think structuring a bit more is going to be a good start.  That said, I have no idea where to begin!  I think maybe weekly meal planning and scheduling my workouts will work. We are in the middle of our first heat wave and it is fairly  suffocatingly hot right now, so I need to make time to exercise in the morning.  Before the babies wake.  Not 100% sure how I’m going to set an alarm that my infant won’t hear in his crib beside my bed, but I’ll figure it out.  I also need to work out a schedule for maintaining my housework, our house is big and I’m having a tough time getting to it all on a regular basis.  As easy going as I am, it is really starting to drive me crazy that I can’t seem to get and keep it clean.  I’m hoping someone who reads this will have tips for any of the tasks I’m going to tackle: meal planning, AM workouts, or house keeping.  Please comment if you do!  And now it’s time to make dinner!  Tonight’s menu is T-bones, potatoes, onions, peppers, garlic and butter on the grill, and broccoli slaw with homemade grainy mustard vinaigrette.  Yum!

3 Comments

  • Melissa Frost

    September 16, 2013

    Amber, have you ever heard of flylady.net? If not, start there! 🙂

    • Amber

      September 16, 2013

      I have not, I will check it out Melissa! 🙂

    • Amber

      September 16, 2013

      Very helpful tips on there, thank you! I’ve bookmarked it!